Confusion About Emotional Eating

Emotional Eating is a very misunderstood term and everyone and absolutely everyone is jumping on the band wagon. I wouldn't be surprised to see Dr. Phil jumping on too. And absolutely no one understands it. Yet, everyone has advice which is recycled fad diet era advice.

This is what I mean. Emotion is a result of how a particular stressor is perceived. This being said, all programs add 2 + 2 and think the answer is 5. Because the emotional eater eats when an emotion is present, they focus you back on to dealing with the stressor. Obvious right? Way wrong.

The stressor isn't the real stressor--it's the emotion resultant from the stress that is the stressor.

Everyday I read post and article after article and post and they all have the same lame advice--exercise more, call a friend, meditate, eat cabbage instead of chocolate (made that one up) but you get the idea.

Finally I read an article that makes sense and it's backed by research. In the study they worked with individuals suffering from amnesia. The invoked a stressor that elicited an emotional response. Guess what the amnesia sufferers remembered?

They totally forgot what the stressor was but remembered the feeling of the emotion.

Let me repeat, they remembered the emotion but forgot what the stress was. To read about the study, click here.

Now this only becomes more pronounced for someone with normal memory. They not only remember the emotion, but also the injustice or aggravation that lead up to the emotion which becomes a vicious circle of creating more and more of the same emotion which they have no idea as to how to handle. But no problem. They are so caught up in the injustice or event that they never focus on the emotion and just eat and eat to dilute it.

Of course this is also true for situations and events leading to happiness as the primary emotion.

Sure the stress always passes and is forgotten but until the individual becomes "flat" with the emotion it lingers and lingers and is generalized to other events leading to more and more binging and emotional eating.

Prescription for Emotional Eating--Mother's Day

A prescription for emotional eating:

Being around mother can certainly stir up some emotion--all kinds of emotions. If you've had a great relationship with your mother, there's joy, happiness, a feeling of well being.

If on the other hand your mother has been a critic, then there's defensiveness, annoyance, confusion--maybe some anger.

In either situation--it's a prescription for emotional eating. The mind is focused on the emotion and the mouth is engaged diluting them. But the problem is that the mind is not really recognizing the emotion. You're not saying to yourself, "I'm happy being around my mother, " or, "I'm feeling defensive being around my mother."

No, you're into the joy and aggravation and the mouth is engaged. After all, what else is there to do?

Why is this so?
Have you ever driven to work and when you got there, you didn't remember the streets you passed, or the lights you went through, or the land-marks you passed? Of course, it happens to all of us. Emotions are like this, we're so accustomed to them that we don't even recognize that we're having them.

The first step is to be aware of the emotion/s. I'm feeling (whatever the emotion).
Then, how do you feel about this emotion? Some emotions you like and some you don't.
The goal is to get beyond any beliefs you have about the emotion and "take it straight."

"I feel happy and I like feeling happy and I'd like to forget about food and take the happiness straight."

or

"I feel defensive or angry and I hate these feelings because (what ever the reason). I prefer to take these feelings straight, effectively express myself and leave food out of the situation.

I have two great programs for dealing with criticism and expressing yourself. Criticism is a game--those who criticize only tell you more about themselves than they do about you.
Effective communication, though, is something most of us could use some help with.

But if for some reason, you see a lot of red (anger) and have trouble dealing with it, then learn how to benefit from anger.

Feel the emotion, take them straight and forget about food--that's what can happen.


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